T-Mobile Thinks You Are An Idiot

If you watch the Daily Show or Colbert, you’re probably familiar with this ad:

And if you’re like me, you probably feel indebted to T-Mobile for explaining the “arm and a leg” reference. I don’t know about you, but I was baffled!

I like to imagine the meetings where decisions like this are made:

ACCOUNT DIRECTOR: “Love the concept. I’m just wondering if (makes finger quotes) “Middle America” will get that “arm and a leg reference.”

ACCOUNT SUPERVISOR: “Let’s see how it goes over with the brain-deads in the focus groups.”

ACCOUNT PLANNER: “Studies have shown that reinforcing a message visually and audibly increases retention.”

ACCOUNT DIRECTOR: “Great point. Let’s revise that script. And speaking of retention, let’s make sure we pummel the shit out of anyone who watches the Daily Show. Let’s really carpet bomb those fuckers.”

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I’ll Take Two, Please

I drink a lot of coffee when I travel. Actually, I drink a lot of coffee all the time. I told my doctor I drink three cups a day and he said I should cut back. What would he have said if I’d told him I actually drink a full pot just so I can fall asleep at night? (“Go ahead and try crystal meth, son. You’re ready.”)

When I’m rushing to catch a flight after a big out-of-town meeting, I like to get a cup of delicious “dark rost.” Mmmm!

Even on the plane, I’ll often settle for a cup of whatever they’ve got. No–wait. This cup says it’s called “Café Mystique.” That sounds exotic! Thanks a lot, US Airways marketing department! I just know this is going to be good. If only every morning I could “Indulge” and “Escape” in such luxuries.

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Umm… Nevermind

Plenty of writers retract errors after publishing them. But me, I’m issuing a preemptive retraction. I’m advanced like that.

I wrote a snarky post last night about an online ad I saw with what appeared to be a significantly Photoshopped Alton Brown. Just before I posted, though, I thought twice. How can I be sure? Maybe the dude just lost a bunch of weight? Turns out that was a good instinct. Here’s my original, completely wrong post. Sorry, Alton. I never should have doubted you.

You’re an art director at an ad agency. You’ve been watching Mad Men and you’ve noticed that Don Draper looks pretty svelte in those suits and skinny ties. Meanwhile, your client, Food Network, wants to do an online banner ad with Alton Brown. Problem is, Alton’s no Don Draper and you’ve only got 160 pixels across. Solution = cut + paste.

Voilà.

Come on. I’m a fan of this guy. But he hosts a show that had an episode about how to make homemade corn dogs.

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